We’ve been getting to know a lovely Laotian-Thai family who are as-of-yet-uncommitted to Christ.  We met through our kids, who like to play together after school.  Initially, the husband appeared reserved (closed?) toward friendship with us, that is, until he learned from Meredith the story of how I left a career as a public school teacher to be a full-time missionary.  Strangely, it was then that he stood up and decidedly told my wife, “Our families should have a picnic.”  The international picnic that followed led me into the worlds of boxing and Buddhism, and marked the beginnings of life-transforming spiritual friendship!

On Cinco de Mayo they brought us homemade sushi rolls and shish kebab - a delicious treat!  Then the dad invited me over to his home to watch my first boxing match (De La Hoya vs. Mayweather).  The wife told us she was surprised I accepted the invitation - she assumed Christians aren’t allowed to watch boxing.  (I’ll have to ask her to tell me more about that later.)  After the fight, which was rather boring and predictable, the most exciting thing happened.  The husband and wife initiated a conversation on life, death and faith that I just couldn’t pass up!

For the next few hours we shared our family histories.  It turns out each of us knows the pains of growing up without a parent, watching a family member struggle with substance addiction and the troubles that brings.  Our shared brokenness seemed to give us a connection we didn’t have before.  The wife thanked me for sharing my story, a little choked up at her own trip down ‘memory lane.’  I learned that the husband came to this country as a refugee as a 3-year old, only to experience the harsh realities of the LA streets.  There is a big story here I could tell.  I wondered if one day he’ll share it with me.

They told me their version of the history of Laos, a history I never read in school.  I learned some differences between Laotian people and Thai people, two cultures represented by their marriage.   

I learned that they want a ‘better’ life for their kids than what they had.  They desire to be upwardly mobile.  But they also desire their childrens’ lives to be marked by personal integrity and humility.  They voiced their disgust at Mayweather’s (the winning boxer’s) arrogance and boasting after his defeat of Oscar De La Hoya. 

It was a ground-breaking conversation in that this was the first time they’ve been so open with me about their passions, their pasts and their religious roots.  I came to discover that the wife especially is seeking physical security through spiritual means. 

“Do you believe things you dream at night can come true?” she asked me.  Apparently, the other night she had a very troubling dream about her own untimely death.  She described that this dream has motivated her to visit the Buddhist temple on Mother’s Day and bring food to the gods (to help prevent early death).  I never could ascertain if she believes in these gods (I’ve read somewhere that, for many Buddhists, the validity of their religion is not contigent upon the existence of a God or gods), or if her food-offerings on Mother’s Day will be more of a ‘just-in-case’ measure.  I made a mental note to ask about this later. 

“You guys don’t believe in reincarnation do you?” the wife directed at me.  “You believe in something else - another ‘R’ word… what is it?” 

“Resurrection,” I replied. 

“Yes, that’s right, resurrection,” she said with an air of politeness.  I listened to their current perceptions of Christianity, which came as no surprise but saddened me nonetheless.  There was a period in the wife’s childhood when a Catholic relative dragged her to church.  There someone had given her a children’s picture bible that she and her little sister soaked in.  But her little sister became terrified with the thought of being wiped out by “the God of the Old Testament who slaughters thousands of people”. 

“I don’t know much about the New Testament really, I’ve never read it, but I remember those stories from the Old Testament where God just killed people left and right.  My little sister really freaked out at this.  She was shaking all the time when she read the bible.  She got so scared we eventually had to take the bible away from her.” 

I opened my mouth to refute this portrayal of God, but discovered the wife had more to say, and lots of questions to ask.  I could tell, though, that she wasn’t really asking me for an answer to her questions at this point.  She wanted to voice them all.  She wanted to be heard.  I figured her questions created good ‘bookmarks’ that my wife and I can come back to in future conversations.  For at this point I thought to myself, “Am I going to be a safe place for this couple to seek God, or am I going to refute everything they have to say?”  So right or wrong, I chose to just listen in that moment.  This was, after all, my first deep spiritual conversation with this couple.  I don’t want it to be my last.  The overarching theme, of course, was fear of death.  All the wife’s questions centered more or less around the troubling dream she had. 

How awful it must be to live in terror of dying, I thought.  Even as a Christian, though, I used to live in fear of death, I remembered – that is, back when I was relying on my good deeds to outweigh my bad deeds as the means to salvation.  It truly was an awful existence, relying on myself for hope, peace and salvation.  I could empathize from my own point of view.

Near the end of our conversation, the husband told me he wants to take our two families to see a famous Chinese Buddhist temple in the LA area to observe how beautiful the architecture is, and so we can each pray to our own “gods” for blessings on our families.  (I can honestly say my Masters in Ministry degree, for all its worth, didn’t prep me for that one!  How would you respond?)  If we do this, I’ll clarify that any prayers my family prays will be to God alone.  No food offerings to other gods.  Still, the nice thing about this invitation is that he wants to connect more with me on a friendship level, and on a spiritual level!  How cool!  He also wants to go fishing with me (the weather is getting good for this), so I can envision more quality time to talk about these topics in the near future.  How I look forward to these conversations. 

This interaction on Cinco de Mayo (along with countless others) reminds me how much I don’t know what I’m doing, or what I should say all the time, but I’m learning the Spirit of God at work in me can do wonders in situations like these! 

God, help me and my teammates to be the kind of spiritual friends you intend for us to be to this precious family at this stage in their spiritual journey.  I so much want this man and his family to know the power of Christ the Healer in their broken lives!  I want his wife to know the love of God, and a new life without fear of death and suffering.  (Not that I’ve mastered this no-worries-thing myself, but I do know something about that inexplicable inner peace and hope that comes from a life centered around your Son!)  Just as you loved us while we were still godless and powerless, may we accept our friends where they are (religious roots, rocky pasts and all), and then help each other accept where you want us to be.  Amen! 

Categories: culture